A night
by LilyBartAndTheOthers
Summary: All the things I owe you. My life.


It was a delicate attention

It was a delicate attention. A sweet motion of friendship, the premises of a smile and the generous thought that he could care. At least once. She didn't turn her back and accepted his arms around her shoulders, the heat of his body against hers in the silence of her tears and the sadness of her eyes. She would have prefered to be alone as a matter of fact and feel the pain pass through her heart, her injured heart. Sometimes it's all what we need in order to draw a line under the little failures that light up our lives. But her hands slided along his palms and as he pressed them tight, she knew he did it right.

What is it that she didn't see it come? She had always thought she was controlling him, the whole time. She could have told him anything, he would have come back everytime, apologizing for her own whims. And she would have smiled in spite of the guilt invading her soul. She loved torturing Stan, it was reassuring. And sharp. He wasn't supposed to change his mind and look for someone else in an attempt of fairness and nice feelings. It was just a game, she thought he knew it. She thought he liked it. Apparently she hadn't read very well through the lines and he was gone now.

Breakdowns were rare, invisible most of the time. She felt too weak so that people saw her cry; that's why she used to take a pill and drawn her sadness into vodka. Or just leave the place and lock the door behind, then slide on the floor, wondering why she had lost her smiles. One day Grace had seen her in the middle of her despair. She was in the hospital, for Stan. Irony or fate, it was always related to this man, she should have guessed that the end would be bad. Did she really have to say out loud that it was only a facade? Of course she could feel down, sometimes, like anyone. But there was absolutely nothing more to add.

She had vaguely accepted the sweet words of her friend, her fists clenched angrily when she had spoiled everything at the end. Damnit, Karen! It's okay if you're in pain, let the others take care of you when they want to. And she had sworn she would the next time her soul would glimmering under the tears of her heart. That's why she did when Will came to her side and took her in his arms. She hadn't anticipated his gesture, as sincere as he was whenever they met each other one, and even less the fact she wouldn't break apart. His comfort was soft and warm, so far from the coldness of her manse and the confusion of her mind as she had turned around and realized that Stan had packed.

The worst pains are those ones when we don't know why we cry. When there's a doubt sliding slowly into our brains; it doesn't sound right. She had loved Stan, she knew she really had. Once. But if she was feeling so bad it wasn't because he had come up with other plans but the fact she didn't really miss his arms. And even less his heart. He may just have accepted the truth she had been trying to hide for quite a while. The terrible idea that they had come to the end of the path, the one they had to share and now it was another life. But addicting to the mysterious nets of her heart was way too hard and she didn't want to draw a line and just nod, then. Under the darkness of their crash. Did Will turn out to be the sweet hostage of her doubts? She prefered to close her eyes and stop thinking about that.

She never asked for him nor tried to impose him anything that night. She felt moved when he opened his arms and hugged her tight, caressing her back just to make vanish her cries. He didn't have to play a rôle, nothing in particular. She just appreciated the fact he was doing his best to make her smile. Because it's when I see the stars shining in your eyes. She may have blushed, laughing silently under the remark, then tightened her grip over his heart. A bit too much perhaps. Not exactly what she had planned nor had in mind. But still, there's no deny. She brushed his lips and got lost in his mouth, the kiss sounding reassuring and right. So right. She didn't think it twice, not even once as a matter of fact and laid down on the sofa, Will's heat on her heart.

Perhaps it's the story of a night, a single one, when the loneliness of her life made contact with the strength of his soul. Unless there's something more like the whisper of some hope floating over her heart, an unexpected turnout on her life. She doesn't know, doesn't really care, just accepts the fact she spent the night in Will's arms. She brushes his back lit up by the sun of a morning light. Then stands up and smiles. Leaves the greenhouse, turns on her right and reaches the stairs that leads to the roof. The sky is blue, the air is warm.

And she's so fine.


End file.
